How To Stay In The Moment When You're Super Duper Busy (Guest: Mariela De Santiago)

Be Present- June 2024

It's hard to be fully present. It's extra hard to be present when you've got a toddler and wear all the hats for your own business.

Our guest, Mariela De Santiago of Mama Wears Athleisure and New Mom Talks Podcast has lots of tips for us to stay in the moment, be present, and be engaged with what matters most.

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Episode Transcript:

Caroline : Hey, you. And welcome to make it joy. I hope that you are enjoying our theme of the month, which is be present. And I hope that you are practicing showing up more in your life and just being in the moment, enjoying what's happening as it happens. Trying to focus on the now, not so much the yesterday or the tomorrow day, just the today. So today's episode is a. It's a guest episode, and we have a lovely visitor called Mariela de Santiago. And she is a. She is a busy gal, is what she is. She's very busy. She is an entrepreneur. She has a podcast. She is out and about in California and hosts events and leads a walking group. And she is going to share how she shows up and is present in her very, very busy life. And so I found her very easy to talk to and easy to listen to. And I think that she has a lot of practical tips. Now, she does have a podcast that is focused on new moms and just tons of tips for new mothers, which if you have ever been a new mother or think one day you might be a new mother, great resource, because it is overwhelming. But she has a great podcast there, which, you know, we talk about it in the show a little bit, and when we recorded it, it was called Mama wears athleisure. But she has. I think this is smart, actually. I think that she has changed the name, and I think that it's a great new name, and it is called new mom Talk. And so I'm going to leave all of her info in the show notes for you. But I do want you to know that, yes, she is a mother, and, yes, I am a mother. And we do talk about mothery stuff some, but this is. This is for anybody. This is for anyone who wants to be more present in their life. And. And she gives us some great tips on just how when you are busy, when your. When your time is crowded and your life is crowded with wonderful things and chore things and life things, how you can find ways to reconnect to the moment and. And set good boundaries for yourself. So, okay. I hope that. I hope that this is helpful to you, and I hope that it helps you learn even more how to be in the moment and be present. All right. Have a good time. Hi, I'm Caroline busick, and I'm a certified life and spiritual coach, and I love to help women live life with more joy. My job is to completely and wholeheartedly believe the best in you and believe the best for you. I think that life is meant to be enjoyed and we're meant to live with passion, purpose and fun. In this podcast, we will talk about all things joy, what brings you joy, what keeps you from joy, and how to just enjoy life more in general. You are uniquely and wonderfully made, and you are who you are and how you are for a reason. My hope for you is that you will adore being you. Build a life you love, soak up as many moments as you can, and enjoy the heck out of life. Welcome to the make it Joy podcast. Good morning, Mariela. How are you?

Mariela : I'm great. How are you?

Caroline : I'm good, you know, hustling as always.

Mariela : Yes.

Caroline : I am so glad you're on the show. I think that, well, for starters, what you do and what you do for moms is, it's awesome. You have a podcast and you have a website all about just first time moms and resources for them. And I I think what you offer is really, it's really special and super needed, and I think it's going to save a lot of moms. A lot of 03:00 a.m. Google searches.

Mariela : You know, it's funny you say that because, well, first of all, thank you for having me.

Caroline : Oh, yeah.

Mariela : Yes, I. So I created my podcast out of a need. I love podcasts. I always, I've been a podcast listener, and after having my son trying to, you know, walk around the neighborhood as you recover, I was trying to learn everything. I was googling through a podcast, and I just was not finding it. So, like, I created it. I just wanted to do 20 minutes episodes that were evidence based, giving me information on topics and, and questions I was googling. So, yeah, it's been, it's been fun. Now I've expanded to add more of, like, what I call mom talks and just bringing moms that want to talk about whatever it may be. Friends, mom guilt, all the things.

Caroline : Oh, I love it. And I'm like you. I love podcasts. I think, and I. Most of my podcasts, I'll listen to, like, at a fast speed, so I can just learn as much as I can. But there are a couple that, like, when I'm working in the yard, I'll slow it down. Like, Conan O'Brien is one of my favorites, and I'll just, I have to listen to him at a normal speed. But when I'm trying to learn stuff for business or life or whatever, I. I go up to, like two times speed and I'll just consume.

Mariela : Yeah, I call it mom speed.

Caroline : I love it. And, guys, I. So I want to include you. I know that everybody listening, and Marielle and I talked about this. Not everybody listening is a mom, but everybody listening is a person.

Mariela : And busy.

Caroline : Yes. Yes. And so what we're talking about today and for the whole month is we're talking about being present. And so we are going to talk about some mom specific stuff. But I want you, for those of you that that's not a part of your life or isn't anymore, I don't want you to feel excluded from that. What we're. That is code for a thing in your life that takes your attention or a thing in your life that takes your energy. So we are going to talk about being moms, but we are also, just in general, talking about life and doing life and making space.

Mariela : Yeah. This is for everyone. And it's just a way to be able to kind of take in what has worked for me, whether I was a mom or not. Right. And maybe somebody can walk away with some of the tools that I use and be able to incorporate it in their own life.

Caroline : That's perfect. And, you know, you are so gracious and you haven't volunteered, but you've been pushed into volunteering to be our example, our guinea pig, of making time to be present in your own life and staying in the moment in your own life. So you are brave and courageous, and you are going to allow us to talk about your life and how you make, like, what works for you and what doesn't work for you. And so. Okay, number one, thank you very much for. For doing that. Number two, you are a busy gal. I know you. You have a podcast. You are a one woman show. You have a baby. You have a walking group. So, kid. Okay. So I would love to know just in general, and I know not every day is the same, but what can you describe the biggest busyness of your life and what you're doing and what, like, what occupies your time and mind right now in. In your life? Typically.

Mariela : So, yes, every day is busy, and I wish I had a routine, but I think having a toddler is. Makes it difficult to have a routine because they don't stick to a schedule. But typically, the way my day starts is I try to get up earlier, around 530 or so and try to do a little bit of work, and that might be Instagram, social media stuff, getting through some emails, maybe doing some editing, try to get ready. And by that, I mean wash my face, brush my teeth before my son wakes up. Right. And if he doesn't wake up, then we just kind of tend to have a routine of, he lays in my bed, watches a little bit of tv while I'm able to do that. So he's not a big screen time kid, which I love and appreciate. So it's not a big deal for me to let him watch a little bit of, whether it's cars or. This is actually really funny. He loves baseball, so we will watch the baseball game from the night before.

Caroline : That's really sweet.

Mariela : Yeah, so, yes, we do that. I think the morning is the busiest time, and honestly, it's the time that I get most overwhelmed because the house starts off clean. But once we all wake up, it's the dishes need to be unloaded, they need to be reloaded. The humans need to be fed, the dogs need to be fed, the dogs need to be taken out. So there's all of these layers of tasks that need to be done within, like, let's say, a 1 hour period, and it's a lot to manage. So I've since I realized that this is, like, my very overwhelming time, and it's very easy for me to be like, oh, my gosh, I can't handle it. I just try to take a deep breath in and I've honestly come to terms that, you know what? My house is going to be a mess until 07:30 p.m. And I'm just not going to fight it like, I have to. I would much rather spend the time cuddling on the couch with my son, if that's what he needs. Then put the dishes in the dishwasher, even though it's bothering me.

Caroline : That's a tough place to get to. I had to do that, too. And I had a friend tell me, do your kitchen one time. You know, don't do, don't clean after breakfast. Don't clean after lunch. Don't clean after supper. Like, pile your stuff in the same spot so it feels like it's click. Like it's not a clutter. But you can't clean after breakfast because as soon as breakfast is done, you're cleaning out your lunch. And she's like, just put everything in the sink, or put everything and put your mess in one area and just clean one time and that I had so much more time after I did that.

Mariela : Yeah. I think once you come to the realization that it's okay, that your house is going to be a mess, and I think that's the reality for everyone. Right. Even when you're getting ready to go to work, you don't really have time to do the dishes. So just be okay with the house being messy until you can get back to it. It's not. It's something that takes over space in your mind that you can't really control because you can't control time. So let it go. Right. You gotta pick your. Your battles. Really?

Caroline : Yeah. Well, so you, um, are you busy in the evenings? Are you working in the evenings? Are you fitting in your life all throughout the day?

Mariela : Oh, yeah. I, you know, like I said, I have to pick and choose. So the mornings, we always have an activity, and that's the time where I really focus on being present with my son. Breakfast. You know, I'll still be doing some things on the computer if I need to, but when we're out, it's just him and I doing whatever it may be. Then we come back. Nap time. It's squeezing crunch in as much as I can. But one of the things that is my top priority is I have to do a 20 minutes workout, and I think that's for my mental health so that I can give myself something that really makes me feel good.

Caroline : Yeah. And that sound at the same time every day around, that's great because you've got, like, a little loose, but there's this structure. And so I imagine that now it's this habit for you, and so it, you know, whatever time it is, your body's like, all right, it's time to do this thing. 20 minutes. Totally doable, by the way. Ten minutes. Totally doable, guys. You do what you can do, but, like, your body gets used to it. If you do something every day for a week, suddenly your body's like, I need to do this thing. This habit is forming.

Mariela : Yeah. And it just gives you that, like, energy that you might be lagging in the middle of the day and your body starts to crave it.

Caroline : Yes. Little. One little thing at a time. Like 20 minutes. It's not this hour long workout, and we don't need an hour long workout. As long as you're just moving in general, which you are, especially if you have a little, little boy.

Mariela : Yeah. And I think that you definitely just need to be able to make something for yourself that you look forward to, whether that's a workout. If it's not a workout, then maybe it's a face mask or a bath or something. That's self care. That's for you. And for me, it's being able to squeeze in a workout when I'm able.

Caroline : To follow my, like, evening routine of kind of having a come down and learning for maybe an hour. And I, like, I'll spend a little time with God. I'll spend some time learning a new skill or history or something. And then I haven't read fiction in a while. I miss it, but I just. Reading in a real book and then just dozing off. It's the best little meditation. Then off. Off to sleep on your silky pillowcase. Right. It's just. It's like, whatever your thing is, if you have a little thing where you meet yourself every day at about that same time, it's. It's almost like a little. It's like a little self sanctuary in just a world, you know? A busy, busy world.

Mariela : Yeah. Some familiarity. Yeah.

Caroline : Okay. All right, so back to you. So there you are, being busy in your life and busy in your day. And your. Your. Your evenings, they're pretty packed as well.

Mariela : Very packed, yep. Calls I take with my son in the afternoons just because I feel like they're pretty easy to do. And then the evenings, we have a window where we do dinner as a family. I didn't grow up having, like, dinners as families. It was more like the kids ate and then the parents ate. And so that was something that I really, really wanted to have with my son was two family dinners. So we'll do family dinners with our phones away from the table. So it's really uninterrupted. It's just the three of us. We might have the Padres game on because we are a baseball family, but other than that, there's no tv or nothing on. It's nice that we. This is time where we know that we can count on being together and there's no interruptions. Like, work can wait, calls can wait. Whatever else, the mess, laundry, dogs, everything gets to be put on hold so that we can just have this time as a family, you say? And then we divide and conquer. One person does the bath, the other person cleans the kitchen, and then we come back together for the bedtime routine, do our normal, like, playtime right before bed, and then right after my son goes down. It's work up until my husband and I have a little bit of time to watch a show or watch something, I guess.

Caroline : When I was. Before I was married and had kids, I thought, you know, every evening my husband and I were just going to get in bed, and we're going to hold each other and talk all night, every single night. And now I'm like, what murder show would you like to watch on the couch tonight? But it's a different way of bonding, and we're both tired, but we're together, and that's. It's not the. I wouldn't say it like, the highest level of quality time, but day to day, like, just being in a space together, it does bring us together. At least there's this bit of quality time. You know, it's like real world quality time. Right? Yeah.

Mariela : And it's also nice when you have, like, a show that you watch with them. Like, we love trash tv. We also love murder shows, but we love, like, 90 day fiance, and then we always have to, like, add our commentary. And it's so fun because typically you would think, like, this is what I would have done with just, like, my girlfriends, and I didn't think it'd be something I'd be doing with my husband. And we enjoy it.

Caroline : They don't want to admit it, but they love these trashy fall in love shows. Matthew is the. What's the, um. The one I just finished? The love is blind where I'll never. Yes, they, you know, they meet behind a wall. They've never seen each other, and they supposedly fall in love in three weeks or seven days, whatever it is. And my husband makes fun of it the whole time, but he sits there with me the entire time. And I think if you're sitting there for an hour making fun of something, you're into it.

Mariela : Hey, it's good tv, right?

Caroline : All right, so, okay, if you were to say right now, like, in this couple weeks or month or few months, you're in right now, like, on a scale of one to ten, how are you doing on being present?

Mariela : I think I'm probably about between a six and seven. I think it depends on the day I try. You know, there's definitely some spaces, some places where I'm like, this is. Needs to be uninterrupted time. I think everyone's going to agree with me, or most people will agree with me when I say this, but I think the hard part is that social media really takes your attention away. So when you go to post anything, it just sucks you in. Not only does it suck you in, it's hard. If you're running a business, it's really hard to do everything because you require so many different things. Right? You need canva, and then you need, if you're using an AI platform, and then you.

Caroline : There's just so many, so many teeny, tiny things that just add up so much. And I like, in my own life, I'm not a social media person at all. I do like Pinterest, but I don't count that. I count that as, like, looking at plants to put in my yard. But when I have to get on Instagram for my business, I still call it have to, and I have to get on it. I inevitably run into some kind of video of a dog, like, in a costume running into a pile of leaves, and I'm just like, that. And then it leads to another dog doing something silly. And then 45 minutes goes by, and I've just been watching dogs.

Mariela : Well, at least you're watching something entertaining, right? Like, watching dogs is. I love those shows. Like, what is. What's the that company? Is it doggo or dogo? Whatever it is. They have, like, all these funny pet videos. You probably.

Caroline : Whoever I'm watching, it's like Golden Retriever City. There's just golden retrievers everywhere. Well, okay, so your ranks pretty high in your six to seven. I think that's great right now. So if you could look back at times where you've been lower, two or three, just for advice for everybody who's listening, like, when you get lower on your being present in your life scale, what are some things that take you away? Social media, it sounds like, can take you away and work can take you away. What distracts you and what do you do to get back to being more present in your life?

Mariela : I think my husband is really good at keeping me on check. So he tells me. And I think there's other things that just kind of tend to, like, fall off to the wayside. Like, maybe I'm not. I'm not really putting as much effort energy into feeling, like, putting my face on, putting my hair on. Maybe things start to pile up. Right? Like, the laundry. It's hard to keep up with in general.

Caroline : So when you're. When you are distracted, what kind of things? What do you do to pull yourself back? Your husband pulls you back?

Mariela : A to do list.

Caroline : A to do list.

Mariela : So my background is special ed. I was a special ed teacher up until I had my son. And I feel like I'm pretty type a, right? Like, I had to meet deadlines, like a lot of people do at work, but there was a certain system of things I had to include in all of my ieps. And so I had a whole list of the way that I would manage to ensure that everything got done on time. I would literally every iep had, like, a checklist, and it just made everything easier. So I feel like a lot of those skills transferred with me and being able to make sure that I do the things that I need to do. So I'll start to create a to do list if my mind is really overwhelmed with. I need to get all of these things done, whether it's work or personal, I create a to do list, and I like to start off with checking things off that the more I can check off first, the more satisfactory it is for me.

Caroline : It's so funny you're talking about that. I've heard you on other podcasts, and I've heard you, like, describe yourself as a type a. And I wanted to talk about that because I know, I mean, people, men and women, but I do think a lot of women identify with being type a and, you know, being productive and wanting to stay busy and feel like they're accomplishing things. And I am not a type a, but I, on the outside have always assumed that it being present is hard, period, because of our world. But I've thought that it is probably especially hard for type A personalities to slow your mind down from, like, doing and organizing and being productive. And I was wondering, number one, if that's true and if I guess just as a type a child aside, life aside, your personality itself is being present something that you have to work extra hard at. Is it one of your challenges?

Mariela : Oh, yeah, for sure. I love yoga, but even with, before I started yoga, it was really hard for me to just calm my brain, to just sit in a pose. And I think that's, like, the best way to kind of think of it, right? If you can do yoga and, like, just clear your mind, or even if you're doing shavasana, you have just 1 minute of, like, letting your mind be clear of anything. For me, it's 50 50 when I'm in that pose. Like, I might start thinking about all the things I need to do next, and then it's a matter of, like, bringing it back. But I will say I have absolutely no problem going to bed. When I, when my head hits the pillow, my husband always says, how do you fall asleep so fast? I'm like, well, I just pretend I'm like Mary Poppins and I'm up in the clouds. Like, all I picture is, like, literally clouds in my head, and I just fall asleep.

Caroline : Shut your mouth.

Mariela : I'm serious. And his brain just keeps going. And I'm like, just shut it down.

Caroline : Like, you have a clean conscience, friend. That's what it is. You're just like, my soul is at peace. Night night, world. See you tomorrow.

Mariela : I'll deal with it tomorrow. I think that's the one thing is, like, I always have a lot to do. Everybody does. But is it, am I going to let it ruin my sleep? No, I'll deal with it tomorrow. It can wait.

Caroline : You know, something that you said about yoga, and I was actually a yoga teacher for about twelve years and I'm a mindfulness teacher as well. And the thing you talked about how when you're in Shavasana, which by the way, is definitely the best part of class, this idea, there's this pressure to clear your mind, or when it's meditation time, you, you clear your mind. But actually what you said is exactly right. It's not about clearing your mind, it's about when your mind wanders off. You just bring it back. And so you keep bringing your mind back to whatever it is you've decided to focus on. Maybe an affirmation, or maybe just focusing on your breath, or focusing on the sensations that you have in your body. But brains are brains and they are made to think and they're made to keep us alive. And part of that is just, is going. And so, guys, when it's time to meditate or to be mindful in your life or in your yoga class, whatever you're doing, you just keep coming back to here. Where am I? I'm here. What time is it? It's now. Like, what is it? I'm focusing on breathing. What am I focusing on? Being with my child or being with my flowers right now or being on this date or watching this murder show, whatever. Not love is blind murder show. Not love is blind murder show. Okay, so with your, um, with your type a personality and your busy, very busy life, what if you could say, I don't want to give you a number, but if you could say maybe one to three major things that work for you in addition to your, your to do list, what are some things that really, really, really help you become present? I'm looking for tips for people listening. Like, what are some things we can actually do to be, that'll help us be present?

Mariela : Blocking off time in your calendar where you have, let's say you have an event. So I'm going to use my mornings, for example, in the mornings. Like I said, my son and I always have something that we're doing. So let's say we go to the safari park. That's time where I'm just with him. Like, I'm not scheduling calls. I don't allow anything else to really interrupt. I'll take pictures of him. I'll take videos of him. And I'm always kind of thinking in advance with like, can I create some sort of content with this, but it's uninterrupted. Right. I'm not doing it while I'm there. Obviously, scheduling time where you are choosing to be present with a friend or a family or whatever it may be, scheduling time, and it doesn't have to be a certain time in your day, but just committing to something that's for you, that's going to make you feel better, because you're always giving so much of yourself. How can you give back to yourself? So I mentioned, for me, it's a workout. For somebody else, it can be just a walk, listening to a podcast, listening to an audiobook, whatever that is. Do something for you in a ten to 20 minutes period every day, if you can.

Caroline : That's great. When I get, I mean, I've got a few things that kind of pull me back. But one thing that really helps me a lot is if I'm rushing, you know, rushing out the door, so and so has got to get a school, and we have this lunch and that lunch, or if I am just, if I find myself, maybe if I'm in a conversation with a friend and if I don't usually drift, but if I tend to drift, if I have some kind of a physical, something physical will bring me back. So that can be either totally stopping my body, like, if I'm in movement, and then if I just stop in the center of the room and take a breath or two, that'll slow me down. Or say I'm like, if I'm distracted in chat, if I maybe, like, touch my hand or just feel, like, feel something that's present in the moment, like, you know, maybe I'll bring my fingertips and touch fingertip to fingertip, and that sensation of touch brings me back in the moment. And it's like a. I don't. I'm sure there's science stuff going on, but it's like a cue or a trigger for me to come back to now. And then I. It's like, oh, get your booty in this conversation again, girl. Get off your grocery list. But there's, I think, for everybody, we all have. We have ways that bring us back into being present and being present every moment. It's. Nobody's doing it all the time, and you just keep coming back to it. And you've got your ways, Mariela, and I've got some ways. And guys listening, you find your way, whatever it is, and you got to experiment, too, right? You know, you have to see kind of what works, what works for you.

Mariela : Yeah. And I think we're just so you. We're so busy, so we're used to always just being on. Is it auto drive where you're just, like, you have your normal morning routine, right, where you're. You drive to work and you don't even recall the drive to work because you're just used to it. You're not even present for it, but somehow you made it.

Caroline : But you're absolutely right. Like, if we can just find these. These ways throughout the day just to connect and drop into now. Well, for one thing, it. Life just gets richer. You know, somebody asked me a couple weeks ago, I told them what I do, and I just talk about joy in general and how we make the most of our lives. And they said, oh, what's the number one thing that. That can bring joy to our lives? And I. When pressed now, it varies, of course. And I have. I think several things are important, but if I had to say one, maybe the most important thing, I do think it's being, like, enjoying the moment that you're in and appreciating the goodness of the moment that you're in, I think is maybe one of the quickest ways to get to joy.

Mariela : I love that. Yet it's so true. Just breathing it all in, kind of acknowledging and building that memory of whatever that moment is.

Caroline : You know, you sound like you're. You sound like you're really good at boundaries. Is that right? Are you a good boundary person?

Mariela : I am.

Caroline : Did you start like that or did you learn that?

Mariela : I feel like I was always pretty decent with boundaries, but after having my son was when I was very, very much became a hard. This is a boundary, or this isn't a gray line. But, yeah, after having my son, I realized, like, I definitely need to set boundaries. I need to show him how to create that balance and how to say no when no means no.

Caroline : If you were to give us some advice on how to have boundaries in our life when it comes to being present and staying in the moment, what advice can you give us?

Mariela : It depends if it's only you or if it's you and others. Right? So you need to be able to communicate and agree on what works, what you each need. So, for example, when it came to dinner, I had told my husband, it's really important for me to create that family dinner dynamic that I never had. So we can't have screen time. And then for him, it was, okay, but we can't have our phones either. So it was more of, like, a compromise where we both agreed to give up these items for, you know, a couple minutes of uninterrupted time together. It's also what is going to allow you to function and to be present and. Okay, so let's say it's making plans with friends and you have maybe a friend that's very flaky and you have somebody that can't commit. So it's a matter of saying, hey, if I like a schedule. So for me, it's very much I need to know by certain date. Otherwise my schedule is going to be already booked, and that might be I'm no longer available. Even if my time is open, I've already committed to I'm no longer available.

Caroline : I think that's great. One thing you've really touched on here that's important is this idea, which so much comes back to this. It's like nurturing yourself, caring for yourself so that you can care for others. You can be more present, you can live the life that you want. And it like, when you're not caring for yourself with those proper boundaries and the time you have for yourself, it is hard to. One thing. For one thing, mentally, it's hard to stay in the moment, and physically, it's hard to. But you're. That's a great tip, is just staying, like, caring for yourself so that you can't, like, you're physically more able to keep bringing yourself back to the moment. I think that's awesome. Listen, okay, so, you know, I've got questions coming your way. I've got a wrap up questions. But before we get there, I want to know two things. One is tell us all about you and where we can learn about you and where we can, especially for our moms and any moms in your area, too, where they can find you and just get in your world. Give us. Give us the lowdown on all things Mariela.

Mariela : All right, so I'll start off with my podcast. If there's any moms out there with little ones expecting, trying to conceive, maybe having a second baby. My podcast is called Mama wears athleisure. That's Ma. And you can find me on my website, mamawearsathleisure.com, on there. I have any and all information that you need. You can find me on any platform, wherever you listen to your podcasts. If you are in the San Diego area or South Orange county or, like Temecula, Riverside area, you can join one of my events. I run the Carlsbad mom walks, and that's at Carlsbadmomwalks. On Instagram can also find all of the event details on my website. So this website is a one stop shop for both podcast and group. And I also have discounts, so you don't have to be a mom to go to my website. So I have discounts for, say, like San Diego Hat company or maybe a variety of different, like, hair products, original sprouts. So I have some discount codes on there that you can go and check out also businesses that might be of interest that you can go and check out. So it's kind of like a space to really provide resources for. Yes. The idea and the goal is moms, but it's not only moms that wear hats or that need hair products.

Caroline : That's right. Well, I have another question for you, which is about San Diego, and you're not from San Diego. Are you moved there, right?

Mariela : Yeah, I'm not from here.

Caroline : Okay. So for people who are visiting San Diego and who are not familiar with it, I remember, I don't remember when I went, but I was younger and thought it was gorgeous. And so if someone is coming to visit for, you know, a day or two, what is a beautiful place that they need to go, or what's something really cool that they ought to see in San Diego?

Mariela : Obviously, the beach, if you are. I personally think that north County, San Diego is more of the beautiful area, so that would kind of be considered Del Mar. And north you can go to. I think the Del Mar beaches is beautiful. If it's not high tide, you can just walk. There's a lot to see. La Jolla is a very touristy place, but it's beautiful. There's a lot of different restaurants. So I love the coast. I'm a big beach person. If you are, like, more outdoorsy and into camping and that kind of stuff, there is a place called the camp store, which is actually a campground, but it's like an outdoor, like space that a lot of locals go to. So you can go and grab drinks. They have pizza, a few other snacks, and live music. So it's not just for people that are camping on that property, and it's literally right on the block, and you can even walk down to the beach. So that's one of my biggest recommendations. It's just so casual. It's very California.

Caroline : Those are great tips. Thank you so much. It makes me want to go right now.

Mariela : San Diego is beautiful, and there's so much to do, depending on what you're looking for. Of course, the Padres game, of course. I'm going to say that of course.

Caroline : Of course. And this I remember the zoo is really good, too. I think that's my first red panda that I saw when I was younger, so. Okay. All right. Are you ready for. Are you ready for your. Your wrap up questions, your joy questions?

Mariela : I'm ready.

Caroline : All right, let's see. Let's. Let's bring the heat here. Okay, so you have taken the what's my joy style quiz. So what is your joy style? And what about that most fits you?

Mariela : Okay. So was it Joy writer with a cute rider? You know, I love the adventure. I love to have fun, but. And I think I love to just appreciate all of the beauty that we can experience. So, like, some of the questions on that quiz that were, like, if you could spend, what was it, like, three months? You won the lottery and had three months somewhere. I definitely chose Europe because we love to just travel and see the world. Right. And just appreciate the beauty that we have in this gigantic planet.

Caroline : You know, you're on your website. There are pictures of you. I don't know where you are, but it looks like you're in Santorini with your son. And, Mike, where are you with the beautiful flower? You may be in San Diego.

Mariela : That's actually our backyard.

Caroline : Your mouth. No, it is not. Oh, my gosh.

Mariela : Yeah. So beautiful. We designed it to. Yeah. To kind of create this, like, spanish coastal vibe.

Caroline : Oh, my gosh. Wonderful job. You need more pictures of your backyard all over the Internet that. I love it. Well, what I was going to ask was, do you travel with your young son? And how has that gone?

Mariela : We're actually doing a trip to Europe. Oh, my gosh.

Caroline : All three of you?

Mariela : All three of us. So that's going to be our first time traveling overseas with him. And we just. We love traveling. We love seeing the world. It's something that we always did prior to having our son for the holidays. It was just. We just got so much more out of life with that, so we want to be able to do that with him, and we're going to try it out and see how it goes.

Caroline : Oh, that's awesome. Where y'all going?

Mariela : We're going to London and Paris.

Caroline : We're wishing you well. Everyone is rooting for you here.

Mariela : Okay.

Caroline : All right. What is your favorite? Simple luxury.

Mariela : Ooh. I'm going to have two answers for this.

Caroline : Oh, good.

Mariela : Dark chocolate.

Caroline : Okay.

Mariela : And a bath.

Caroline : Yes. All right. Where's the most beautiful place you've ever been, Miss Traveler? I can't wait to hear your backyard.

Mariela : I do love our backyard. Also two places for this one, we love Sevilla. Sevilla is just. It's breathtaking. It's just, there's so much culture, and there's so much beauty in it. The other place is Costa Rica, which is very different from. But I love the ocean, and I love the beaches in Costa Rica and the water.

Caroline : Me, coastal girl.

Mariela : Yeah, I can't. I can't get away from the beach.

Caroline : Oh, that's great. Okay. What is one of your big obstacles to joy?

Mariela : I think we kind of covered this part about how, like, my mind can't always just take a break, so it's a matter of training my brain to pause and be present for whatever I'm doing at the moment.

Caroline : Great. That's. That's. And you have your. Your strategies to overcome that and to keep returning back to your moment. What do you. I love this question. What do you love about being a woman?

Mariela : Oh, man, I love. I love that we can really change. Like, you can be anything. Right. And I love being able to get dressed up, but also be, like, in my athleisure wear. Right. Like, putting all the makeup on and putting on the fancy shoes and just feeling super girly. Oh, and also my pink microphone.

Caroline : But he has this precious, like, sherbet colored microphone. It's pink. It's so cute. It's. You look great.

Mariela : Thank you.

Caroline : Happy microphone.

Mariela : And I just love how, at least now that I'm a mom, how being in this community, women really try to work together and lift each other up. And it's not a matter of a competition or judging one another, but there's a lot of support. I think that's really exciting.

Caroline : I love, you know, women get such a bad rap about, you know, being ugly to each other. I know it happens because people are people. It happens with the boys, too. But I think women are the best. I mean, women are just so. There's so much life in us, and there's so much. It's like the goodness of the earth is in us, and we share it with one another, and there's this freedom and, like, free encouragement, free love that we just share with one another. I think when. When we're operating out of that, it's. It's just wonderful. And I think it's. I think that there's much more goodness in women that we share with one another than the ugliness, actually. Okay, in three words, what is the meaning of life?

Mariela : Funny. Productivity. And what is the word I'm looking for? Experience. Whether that's through travel, through activities. Right. There's so much excitement and joy, when you experience something new and fun for the first time. So I think that's, like, probably the biggest part, because I just think about the first time we took my son to, say, Disneyland, for example, just that experience and joy that we got to have by just watching him. It was so amazing and incredible. And I've been to Disneyland many times, but that one time, even though I didn't get any on any adult rides, was just the most fun I'd ever had.

Caroline : That's why I'm hoping to take Madeline and Beckett this, maybe this October while he's still free, because he's too. But I'm, I'm, she's six, and that feels like a good time. Like I want to catch her when she's young so she can really, you know, so I can see all the innocence, you know?

Mariela : Oh, my God. And that's a good time. The decorations are so cool.

Caroline : Is it okay? Yeah. All right, start saving. I hear it's super expensive. Well, it sounds you probably have a, like an in state frequent thing.

Mariela : We have a pass, an annual pass, I think. I will email you all of my tips.

Caroline : Okay. So is that a, is that, um. Do you. For everybody listening for our moms? Are you, do you know Disney stuff? Can people come to you for Disney stuff?

Mariela : I know Disneyland stuff. I'm not big, like actual Disney, you know, movies or things like that. But I can tell you share all of my tips with saving time, what you're allowed to do, what you're not allowed to do. So. Yes. And especially if you have little ones, like, that's always helpful. Like what bathrooms, where to get in line, how to avoid the tram.

Caroline : Oh, do you have an episode about that?

Mariela : I don't, but I do want to have one. And I also want to do one about. Do a blog.

Caroline : Oh, you gotta. You gotta do it. Okay. All right. Your last question is, what prayer or blessing or wish would you like to give to the people who are listening right now?

Mariela : I hope that you guys are able to take something away from this episode and to just be able to find some time for yourself. I feel like we're so kind of ingrained and feeling like giving time to ourselves is selfish, but it's not right. Like going to get a massage. You deserve it. You work hard. Giving yourself ten minutes of uninterrupted time and waiting to respond to that email. You work hard. Why not? You got to be able to give to yourself so that you can give to others.

Caroline : That's so great. I could talk to you for much, much longer. I appreciate you so much. And I. I think I'm going to have a little bit of a chore editing this because I just kept wanting to talk to you about all the things in all the world.

Mariela : It's been so nice talking to you. This is fun. I love this.

Caroline : You're welcome back anytime. You're a delight to talk to. And I really, really appreciate what you do in the world, what you're doing for women and for moms in particular. But also, you're just. I don't know you much yet, but what I know of you so far, you're just, you're this light, you're this warm, light person and you're just putting out. There's just goodness all over you. It's goodness coming from inside of you and there's just this little circle of goodness around you. And I'm glad to know you and I'm so, so thankful you're on the show. You're a, you're a treat.

Mariela : Thank you so much. I really appreciate you giving me the opportunity to come on and chat with everyone and just share ways to be present and to give, give to yourself. Again, it's not selfish.

Caroline : And guys, all of her links are going to be in the show notes. That's at the bottom. It usually says, like, see more. And then there's all of her links where you can find Mariela and find the coupons and all of her blog and her website, her podcast, everything, and just get in her world. Guys, hey, thank you so much for your time and we appreciate you. We love you around here and I'm just glad, glad we got to do this.

Mariela : Thank you. Thank you so much. I so appreciate it.

Caroline : All right, girl. Bye bye.

Mariela : Bye.

Caroline : Okay, gang, that's it for today. Thanks so much for listening. I hope you've been inspired, encouraged and have had a great time. If you'd like to know more about working with me, having me as your own personal coach, check out my website, www. Makeitjoy. You'll also find all of my resources, recommendations and freebies on there as well. If this podcast is your kind of thing, I would so appreciate your support. Please leave me a five star review and help spread the word. If you'd like to say hello, I would love to hear from you. Send an email to carolinekeitjoy.com. I will read it and I will get back to you. I love the make it joy community. Y'all are a really beautiful, lovely group of people and I appreciate you all so much. Enjoy being you enjoy your life and go make it joy. I'll see you next time.