#40 Care For Your Mind, Body, and Soul- (Guest: Cayla Esteban)

Special guest Cayla Esteban of Sozo Holistic Healing and I have a conversation on what holistic health is, how our spirit connects with our bodies, and making holistic living doable for everyone...not just for elites.

Water filters Cayla suggested (these are affiliate links, thank you!):

Clearly filtered water filter link: https://amzn.to/3wfu5o7

Zero Water filtered water system link: https://amzn.to/3HT0JP1

 

Caroline's links: 

Email: caroline@makeitjoy.com

Website: www.makeitjoy.com

What's Your Joy Style Quiz? https://ivlv.me/wqQxbNew 

30-Second Self-Care Free Download: https://view.flodesk.com/pages/63d5e993ecc6781900626d13

Ease In To Your Day Audio Guide: https://view.flodesk.com/pages/63d899b9ecc6781900627081

 

Cayla's links:

Website: www.sozoholistic.com 

**What do I use to record my podcast? (affiliate link, thank you for using it!!)

https://alitu.com?fp_ref=caroline84

 

Episode Transcpript: 

[00:00] Caroline: Hey, everybody. Welcome to the show. I hope you had a great weekend today. We have a. I think we have a really interesting guest on the show. This is Kayla Esteban. She is from Sozo holistic healing. And she and I get into some really interesting chats about just wellness, holistic health and wellness, and what the heck that actually means and how it's accessible for anyone, no matter your budget. And she gets into some really interesting stuff about finding the roots of our physical ailments and some of our physical issues we may have and how that can go deeper, and it can start from a spiritual place and from a mental place, which I really enjoyed this talk. I usually am very prepared for my interviews, and I have several questions prepared, and I kind of have an idea of where I want the chat to go. But for whatever reason, not whatever, for a lot of reasons, lots of life reasons, I think, and energy reasons, I could not focus on preparing for Kayla. I just really wasn't sure what to ask her. I knew a couple things, but this one was just very free flowing. So it's a bit more conversational, which ended up being. I think it ended up being really cool. One thing that did happen is I changed my water filter after talking to Kayla. So tips on that are at the end. But enjoy this. She's a great guest, and I really appreciate how open she is and how she'll go there. She'll go there and say things that maybe other people won't say, which is great. Okay, enjoy. And by the way, guys, this is a longer episode. We have some longer episodes. And you know that you can change the speed of how you're listening, and usually it's under playback speed, and you can 1.25, 1.5. You can change the speed so that you can hear the same stuff, but.

[02:08] Cayla: It'S a little quicker.

[02:09] Caroline: I do that a lot because I don't want to rush, but I do like to consume a lot of content and education and not enough time in the world. So that's one of my tricks for getting just a lot of information into my mind. Okay. So if you're interested in that, you can do that. Okay. I hope you have a great time. And, yeah. A big thanks to Kayla for coming on.

[02:45] Hi, I'm Caroline busic, and I'm a certified life and spiritual coach, and I love to help women live life with more joy. My job is to completely and wholeheartedly believe the best in you and believe the best for you. I think that life is meant to be enjoyed, and we're meant to live with passion, purpose and fun. In this podcast, we will talk about all things joy, what brings you joy, what keeps you from joy, and how to just enjoy life more in general. You are uniquely and wonderfully made and you are who you are and how you are for a reason. My hope for you is that you.

[03:20] Caroline: Will adore being you.

[03:22] Build a life you love, soak up as many moments as you can and.

[03:26] Caroline: Enjoy the heck out of life.

[03:27] Welcome to the make it Joy podcast.

[03:35] Caroline: Hey Kayla, how are you doing?

[03:37] Cayla: I am good. Thank you so much, Caroline, for having me.

[03:41] Caroline: I'm so glad to have you. And you and I have talked about just how interesting it's been for us to actually get together and have a conversation. It's been one of the harder ones. And I think that's interesting about being. You and I are both mothers and we both, I wouldn't say that we squeeze in our job around our family, but we're just juggling a lot at the same time. And sometimes one thing takes priority and sometimes the other. And so you and I have both had a lot of just life and family and work and just stuff that's come up that's made it a little tough to get together, which I guess I just want to say that as an encouragement for the mothers or just anybody listening who just life happens. And you and I have just been really flexible with it and with one another and we've known it's going to work out. And you said something I thought was really interesting about. Do you remember what you said about how just getting in God's way and God's timing when this kind of stuff happens?

[04:46] Cayla: Yeah. So not even that long ago, maybe less than a year ago, something like this would have completely derailed me because I have been doing a lot of work on my own sense of control and just recognizing how much I felt the need to be in control. We pray it and we say it and sing it all in the song. Like I give control all to Jesus, but I don't. I'm working. I'm a lot better about it. But I just wanted the schedule and I wanted to know what was happening and I wanted to be able to be prepared. And it's funny that you mentioned being a mother because my kids have taught me a lot of lessons since becoming a mom, but I think just giving up control to God has been a very big lesson. It's been an adventure getting together with you, but it's been worth so. I'm so thankful and grateful just to be able to be on your podcast and to be able to connect with you and your listeners.

[05:54] Caroline: Well, the kids are little control busters, for one thing. But what are some ways that have helped you? This is kind of a spontaneous question here. I mean, we're getting into control already, which I think women in general, everybody struggles with control and power, and we want to run our show. It's our life. But I do think for women in particular, it is something we slide into. How have you been able to let go recently of this control or just sliding into surrender?

[06:26] Cayla: That's a really good question. I hope I can answer it well, recognizing my own anxiety and where it comes from. For me, I have past trauma and things in my life that created this need for like, I need to take care of myself at all times because I felt like nobody was there to provide for me. So I need to know what's happening. I need to make sure I have enough food. I have to make sure that I have gas in my car. I need to plan my day around things, because if I can't keep a firm grasp on all of this stuff very tightly, then I can't trust that I'm going to be provided for. So just recognizing that that was the root cause of where all of my control issues was coming from and being able to kind of create that positive self talk or that kind of reparenting on myself to say, like, okay, you are okay. Yes, you forgot to buy spaghetti sauce at the store today. And that's you panic because you feel like you're not going to be provided for with this dinner that you want to prepare for tomorrow. But it's going to be okay because you can go to the grocery store tomorrow and you'll get that stuff and you're going to be fine. Just recognizing that I can be provided for, my husband can pick it up on the way home from work. It's all good. But also just trusting in God and recognizing God has carried me through in so many different situations in so many different ways that everything is going to work out in his hands. I've started to realize that when I think is the right time for something may or may not actually be the right time, but I want to make it the right time because it's on my schedule and that's what I planned. But I've discovered more recently that if I'm willing to give up that control to God whenever it ends up happening later in the future, I'm like, oh, that actually wasn't really good time for that to happen. That worked out perfect. Thank you, God. But it never would have happened if I kept on pushing my own way and trying to control myself and everybody else in that situation to get it to my plan just for the sake of being my plan. So hopefully that answered your question.

[08:52] Caroline: Oh, yeah. You gave me, like, 8000 gems in there. There were so many good things that you just said, and I want to.

[09:01] Cayla: Jump on all of them.

[09:02] Caroline: So I want to ask you about reparenting. That's a phrase I've never heard before. That I think is, I really liked when you said that, but. Okay, so, Kayla, again, just can you tell us exactly what you do and what kind of work you do with other people?

[09:18] Cayla: Okay, so I am a biblical naturopathic doctor, which most people follow up that question with. What is that? Or what did you say? Because it's kind of a mouthful. So some people are familiar with naturopathic doctors, like, using kind of natural, holistic methods to approach health concerns. And I do that, but I do it a little bit differently where I take it a step further with the spiritual side. So I really address health in kind of a mind, body, and spirit approach, where it's not just your physical health. Because often I've discovered there's some kind of emotional or spiritual root cause that never gets addressed. If you just throw a bunch of herbs and supplements at it, usually addressing that root cause affects it doesn't necessarily automatically make the physical symptoms go away. Sometimes it can, but other times it allows your body to heal itself with support of nutritional things and herbal things. So that's what I do. I specifically enjoy working with moms just because I really see a big need there. Like moms, we often have busy schedules, lots of stress, lack of sleep, probably not eating regularly or just grabbing half a sandwich that your toddler left just to snag on. Just seeing that there's a lot of need for moms and just really taking good care of our health. There's this Chinese proverb that I love, and it goes something like, to heal the family, you need to start first with the mother, which I think is so beautiful because as mothers, oftentimes we are the ones literally building and birthing our babies if we're not adopting them or something like that. So to create that Life takes a lot of work from our body and a lot of nutrients. So if we're not in a right place, it can have physical health effects on the child. And then with breastfeeding and things, if you do that as well, that can take a huge nutrients. But also just mindset. And I've noticed when I'm not taking care of myself and I'm exhausted and I'm dysregulated, my kids fall apart, my husband gets cranky. So making sure that I am healthy and in a good place allows me to kind of help hold my family together. And there's other side effects, TOo. Mothers often, we're the ones that take care of our kids when they're sick or we're the ones going to the doctor's appointments and stuff like that. So from a health perspective, as a family unit, I really see moms as being kind of like that foundation that really needs to be taken care of first before the rest of the family can also be healthy.

[12:32] Caroline: That is so fun. I love that proverb. Never heard it. And it is so typical, I think, for the mom to be put last, you're sacrificed. I think that's part of our maternal instinct, which is just whether you have children or not. I think, I mean, women in general, not all of us, but I think a lot of us are given this. This is one of the things I love about women is we're nurturers and we're lovers and we're givers and we're, in our own way, like providers, I think is a word often associated with a man, like, he's the provider. But I don't often think of the woman as the provider. But we are the providers. Women we provide with the warmth and the compassion and the love. And that is something that is just, I think it's innate in most of us. I think it's a spiritual gift. It's just one really cool thing about being a woman. But we do because we provide and we give so many women. And that's like you. I like women who are a little, well, who've kind of given and given, and then they think, all right, there's not much left of me, but that's just something that we do. And so when you're looking at a person, because our listeners, they can work with you if they would like to, they can work with you or me, and until they do, they can work with themselves. And so when someone's looking at themselves and when you're looking at someone, which way do you go in? Do you look at the physical body, the physical habits, or it sounds like you might start with the spiritual, the emotional, the mental stuff first, and then see what's coming out on the outside with their body.

[14:25] Cayla: That's a great question. So usually when people come to see me it's because of a physical health thing. Usually it's like they're actually having a health issue that they need support with, because that's kind of, I think, as a society, what we're trained to do. Like, we go to a doctor because of a physical health thing. Like, nobody's taught us to go to a doctor because of a spiritual health thing. Or maybe they're going to their pastor or their therapist or something like that. But what I have seen in my own life as far as healing, often I think of it as kind of like, starting in the mind first and then going to the body and then the spirit. And the reason why, even though the body is usually what makes us pay attention, because that's like the physical pain that makes us sit up and go, oh, I need to change something about my life. A lot of times, what I try to work with people on is kind of identifying their mindset, because usually the reason why we're not successful, like, if I have a client make sessions with me or something, and then they'll kind of drop off, it's because they haven't really focused on their mindset first. If I tell you, oh, well, you're supposed to eat healthy and say no to all of the fun things that you want to do all the time. You can't just eat a bunch of candy and just sit on the couch all day long, right? The reason why we say no to those things, because the unhealthy food tastes good and sitting on the couch is nice. So the reason why we're willing to get up and do that is because we've uncovered why we're doing it. I'm willing to be healthy because I really want to have a baby, or I'm willing to be healthy because I don't like feeling moody and depressed or something like that. I enjoy the way that I feel when I'm healthy. So having that kind of mindset in place first, I find, really helps people to be the most successful in kind of carrying through and being able to sustain that willpower, and not that you have to be perfect all the time. Right. I usually tell people, just aim for 80%, but once that mindset is really firm, it allows you to take the time to go through things in your body. Because a lot of times when people come to see me, I'm kind of the last resort. Like, they've tried all the pills and they've tried the western route, and then they're like, can you fix me? Because nothing else has worked. And I'm like, well, we're kind of towards the end of the line here, so it's going to take some time. It might take six to nine months of just committed focus on working on your health goals to really see a big improvement. I mean, you'll notice positive changes right away in some smaller things, but to really get your health on track, it might take a little bit longer. So then we can kind of start looking at those physical things. I would love to just jump right into the route with the spiritual stuff, and a lot of times I'll kind of play around between these three. It's not like systematic, I'll kind of call it as I see it, but this spiritual stuff, a lot of times people maybe are not quite as ready for right away because they have a physical pain or discomfort that they're like, I get headaches all the time and I need this to be gone or I'm about to have a baby and I need to deal with this kind of thing. But usually what I find the spiritual stuff will kind of get uncovered of like, oh, that's the reason why you've been having fertility issues, or that's the reason why you have chronic depression, or that's the reason why it's some past trauma. Or the word that I've been using is like, vices, like our pride or our ego or our sense, like what we talked about before. So those things kind of emerge a little bit later. But yeah, I think people maybe are not quite as ready to work on the spiritual stuff because the physical stuff, it's hard to work on spiritual stuff when your mind is cloudy and you have constant fatigue and you're in some kind of physical pain.

[18:49] Caroline: One thing that's interesting is, and this is probably a little out there for some people, but a lot of the stuff you're saying, I think it's almost like a slightly more palatable phrase for deliverance work. I have a friend who's really into deliverance and just praying through things. And I think that word is super charismatic, for one thing. But it's also not like in every spiritual or christian sector. But the way you're talking about it, I think it's very universal. I think even whether you're a Christian or not, there's so much just in eastern philosophy, it's a little sneakier in Christian. I think it's harder to spot, probably because of what we've put on Christianity. But I think just universally, this idea of what you ingest in your mind and your eyes and your ears, what you hear what you put in your heart, that's kind of the basis of your health, and then what you eat and drink on top of it, how you exercise, how you take care of yourself. It's all this whole dynamic human being. And I think that's ancient stuff. That's stuff that's been around forever. And now I'm starting to talk about stuff I don't really know much about some of the history of the western adaptations to this more holistic lifestyle. I think of it more as, like, California smoothies, but I think that we're becoming a lot more open to ourselves as whole people and how our mind and our feelings affect and the word manifest you've used in our body. And I think it's very interesting. But what I'm hearing from you is this more universal acknowledgment, kind of this undeniable acknowledgment, just very simply of, hey, your body, your mind, your spirit, they are connected. And when you deal with only the body and don't even address the mind or the spirit, that's a little bit of a band aid. If you have the anxiety, which is probably a route, if you dig beneath the anxiety, we're probably getting into some fear of something. And so if you're not tending to the fear, and if you don't replace that with some faith or some trust or something, then you're still going to eventually end up having some of these physical issues. And so I love what you're talking about. I think what you're talking about and the way that you're talking about it is. So what's the word I'd like to use here? I don't know. I just think it's practical. It's still exciting and mysterious, but it's practical for all of us to ingest and for all of us to kind of get on board with. So I really appreciate that a lot. I mentioned this word that you mentioned that I thought was really cool, and that's. What would you say, reparenting or parenting yourself?

[22:23] Cayla: Reparenting myself? Yeah.

[22:25] Caroline: Never heard it. And the second you said it, I thought, love it. Tell me more about it. Is that a thing you've made up, or is that a word everybody knows that I've just never heard? What does that mean?

[22:38] Cayla: I definitely can't take credit for it. And it's so funny that you mentioned that, because I don't really typically, this isn't really something that I have included in my offerings before, but I keep having this nagging feeling towards it. So I feel like God is just kind of, like, ushering it in.

[23:05] Caroline: You just witnessed something, Kayla. Okay, let's take a minute and talk about it. All right.

[23:09] Cayla: Kayla. Yeah.

[23:11] Caroline: You have felt like there's something nagging at you. What has it felt like? And then it's brought out here just naturally you say it, and when you said the word immediately, I was like, that is a powerful word. That is something that spoke to my spirit and my heart immediately, and I needed to know more about, and I wanted to parent myself. So what have you been feeling? What's going on with this parenting?

[23:35] Cayla: Wow. This is amazing. I'm so glad that this is recording because this is, like God speaking to me in this moment. This is very awesome. And to your credit, this is not the first time you've done this for me. You can edit this out if you want to, but when you sent me that email, the gift of, I forget what the word, it was. Like, pictures with scripture and phrases and stuff on it, and it was something about, God is with you, or God is here, or something like that. And those words just spoke to me right in this moment. I was like, oh, this is how I know Caroline is an amazing, good person that is godly and stuff like that, that God would use you as an instrument.

[24:17] Caroline: And by the way, definitely no way am I editing that out.

[24:23] Cayla: Okay, so let me answer your question. Thank you, Kayla.

[24:27] Caroline: I love that. Thank you so much for saying, okay, tell us about the reparenting and what's been cooking.

[24:32] Cayla: Yeah. This is something that I've been doing for myself, and a lot of times, God uses my own healing to bring it to other people. And this is why, if you check out my website later, my logo is a dandelion. And the dandelion always speaks so much to me, because for a dandelion to spread its seeds, it has to die first. And I felt that way with my own healing, where I had to experience something, a health issue or something like that, to learn how to heal it for myself so that I could gain this knowledge to help other people. So with reparenting, it is definitely not something that I came up with. So I cannot take credit for it at all. So I came from a family that had a lot of dysfunction, and that's a whole longer story. And it's not really anybody's fault. It is what it is, and it's generational. And I don't put any blame on my parents right now as I'm describing this, but I did not feel like I was parented as well as I would have liked, even though I know that my parents did the best job that they knew how to do at the time. And that left a lot of gaps in my own emotional regulation and ability just to take care of myself. And I think a lot of people go through this, and when you think about it, I talk about this with my husband all the time. It's so crazy that you're allowed to just birth a child and just go home and do whatever you want. We don't get parenting classes in school. If we want to learn how to be a good parent that takes care of a kid, it takes a very intentional effort, and nobody is there to teach you how, other than maybe your parents. But if they didn't know how, then they're just passing on the lack of information. And with parents, a lot of times, I think the times when we kind of just, quote, mess up as parents, it's not because we're bad people. It's because either we didn't have the right support or there was just, like, no good option at the time. It's like, do I choose this bad option or this bad option? I'm just going to pick one and run with it. It's hard. Parenting is so very hard. And we grow up as adults and there's gaps. And they've done studies on people where if you experience a particular trauma at a certain point of life, like this is what a lot of psychologists will talk about. There's a part of you, like a part of your essence, of your soul or something that gets kind of like frozen in that stage of development. So I have a lot of trauma from being like two and three years old. And two and three years old is when developmentally, people are learning about authenticity and control and just how to kind of regulate yourself and having big emotions. And so I see that in myself as an adult that I'm still learning how to regulate my own big emotions. And I'm learning how to give up and control, and I'm learning what is my most authentic self and how to be that authentic self to other people. So I'm kind of learning how to kind of nurture that two year old, three year old version of myself and kind of reparent in a sense of like, I'm being my own parent right now because my parents just didn't get to do, for whatever reason, it just didn't happen at that time. And so I'm kind of going back and doing that healing. So that's what I think of with reparenting.

[28:34] Caroline: One thing I like about it so much is that it felt very much when you said it, it felt very much like another word for really caring for yourself and loving yourself unconditionally and training and treating yourself in a way that is for your best. And so as we're talking about taking care of our whole selves, you mentioned a lot of times we do this because we feel like we ought to or we should. And I think that depends a lot on your generation too. We grew up with this, like, you should take care of yourself. So I didn't think there was ever very much joy in caring for yourself. It's always felt like a punishment. Like you mentioned, the trashy food is yummy and it is versus the Brussels sprouts and salad. But Brussels sprouts and salad can be like when I have it in an elegant environment on a really pretty plate and maybe I'm with my friends and I have a nice glass of wine, suddenly it feels like this joyful meal. But I've always grown up and I've always thought that it's not a punishment, but it's like a discipline, it's a harsh, like a spanking. It's like a nutritional spanking that I have to give without any pleasure at all. Coming back to the point, what I loved about this reparenting word and how you're talking about it is taking care of ourselves in a way that comes from a place of love and wanting the best for ourselves. And I recently heard, this is not my phrase, but when I heard it, I loved it. So there's a gal I listen to called Cookie Rosenblum and she. What's it, oh, shoot, what's her show? I'll link it, but I think it's maybe weight loss made real. But she talks a lot about binging and emotional eating, and she never tells you what to eat, but she's all about just caring for yourself and loving yourself first and then dealing with your mind. She has a lot of great tips. She had a phrase that I thought was so pretty, and it was, you want to become a woman who takes beautiful care of herself like you're taking care of yourself in this beautiful, loving way. And I thought that really spoke to me the same way, this reparenting and nurturing. And we've talked about the maternal being, really maternal and just loving, loving yourself and treating yourself in a way that comes from a source of wanting the best for you in the way that you want the best for your children.

[31:18] Cayla: Yeah. Going back to what we were talking about being like the mom and what you said about loving ourselves like we love our children. I have actually learned how to be a better parent to myself because of my experience with parenting my children. I feel like I'm a better parent to them some days than I am to myself. When my toddler is crying and she has her big feelings and I'll sit with her and hold her while she's crying, I don't try to fix it and I'll just be with her. And I have a hard time doing that with myself because I just always felt like, oh, and I think a lot of us do this where we don't like our big feelings. And maybe people at the time when we were little kids would just like, oh, here, let me shake this toy in your face to get you to stop crying. Or here, let me give you this cookie. And then we start self soothing with food later on in life. And I just realized I need to allow myself sometimes to just be with my big feelings and not distract myself and with tv or food and not numb myself out with all the things that we do. And I just need to hold myself crying inside sometimes, and that's okay. And just to be comfortable with being uncomfortable with myself for a minute, I think that's like a lesson that I've really had to learn. And I think kind of like going back to what you were saying with the food stuff, you're absolutely right. Cheeseburgers taste so much better than salad. I'm not going to try to convince anybody that it doesn't. But something that I've noticed with myself is I might enjoy the taste of junk food so much better, but I really enjoy the way that I feel when I eat healthier, better. I don't enjoy feeling tired and brain foggy and sad or overemotional or just unmotivated and sluggish. I eat the way that I eat because I love that it fuels me for my day, and I feel positive and I feel energized and I'm not getting in fights with my husband as much, or I'm able to regulate myself with my children better and just enjoy my day. So to me, that's like a big motivation. I love what you said about just, like, beautiful self care. I forget what phrase you said, but I love the way that you like.

[33:48] Caroline: Taking care of yourself in a beautiful being, a woman who takes care of herself.

[33:54] Cayla: Oh, I love.

[33:59] Caroline: I want to get some goods out of a. I think this has been a really, well, a beautiful conversation and an interesting conversation. And when it comes to your reparenting, I would love to know what I think other people would like to know, too, what you end up doing with this reparenting little kind of nudge that you've got from the Lord. And I would love to, whenever you figure out what it is which may end up being something reparenting, or the reparenting may be like the gateway drug to whatever the bigger thing is you end up doing. But whatever you end up doing, I'd love to know what that is. So whenever you figure it out, keep.

[34:38] Cayla: Us in the loop, even if it's not like an official program or workshop or something that I offer just for anybody listening. If that just struck a note with you, I am always available just for private health consultations, and that's something that we can work on just for anybody, even if it's not like an official program. So I just wanted to put that out there.

[35:00] Caroline: We're curious to hear the end of the story. And I love that you also mentioned that people can work with you. You do one to one, and don't you have something that's very affordable? Holistic stuff can be pricey. So you have a budget entry into you and your world, don't you?

[35:24] Cayla: My parents are missionaries, and so I never grew up with money. So I've never been the person that could just drop hundreds or thousands of dollars on things. And so I do feel very passionate about holistic health, but especially in America, it's very like, I feel like it gets kind of the connotation of being like elitist or bougie or. You have to spend a lot of money. And I would love to just break that concept. I, we didn't really get my backstory, but my parents are missionaries from the Philippines. My husband is Filipino, so I grew up like the things that I saw with filipino people there. If they couldn't afford the western medications, they do holistic stuff. And it's actually because it's cheaper. So it's actually really not as expensive as it gets. Kind of branded to be in America. If you know how to do it on a budget, it's super affordable, sometimes even cheaper than kind of the natural western choices. But you kind of have to know what you're doing instead of just following the advertising because everybody wants to spend hundreds of dollars on their product. So this is kind of a. I don't want to say like, hill that I'll die on, is that holistic health can be budget friendly. And my private sessions, I will admit are not cheap. I do try to keep them on the lower scale, I guess you could say, of what other people do charge. But I really do want things to be as affordable and attainable for everybody as possible. So this is something that I'm starting new. We're recording this in February. So I'm about to do my first workshop soon, but just to offer a monthly, like a group workshop that's virtual. And I'll just be talking about a different health topic each month that relates to moms and holistic health. Just like natural minded solutions, not just physical, but like in the mind, body and spirit kind of stuff that we talked about.

[37:34] Caroline: And we'll add a link to that and to just each of the workshops you've had and to your website, of course. But I really am warming to this idea of holistic, just the word holistic and the lifestyle not being bougie, because I have always thought of it as bougie. That's a really great phrasing that. And elitist. Okay, well, I want some tips. I want some goodies, some things we can do in our own lives. What are maybe some of the bougie or not some of the practical major difference makers that we can do in our life to be holistic.

[38:19] Cayla: Honestly, I love this question because, and my answer is probably going to sound very unimpressive, but really, I feel like we are so focused on the marketing of it that they're like, I need to buy this supplement and I need to do this workout program and I need to buy this Pilates machine or something like that, that we miss. Just like the basic things. And these are the basic. I'm so glad that you mentioned kind of the universal ancient wisdom and stuff because that's a lot of times what I go back to is like, what did people 1000 years ago do to be healthy and just do that? Eating whole natural foods, I don't really promote keto or paleo or stuff like that, but just eat whole natural foods as much as you can. I understand sometimes we need the convenience. And getting outside, like sunshine, fresh air, doing grounding, like walking barefoot in the grass, all those things sound like nothing. But it has so many health issues and it's something that you can easily do with your kids, like take your kids out to the backyard or go to the park, just get some fresh air, some sunshine, like doing the grounding for 10 minutes or something at the park. Just walking barefoot on the grass can do so many different things. I know we always talk about it, like avoiding screens. I know we can't avoid it. But what a lot of people don't know. I was just talking to somebody the other day. Like, the blue light that comes from screens increases our cortisol levels in our body, which helps us to feel more awake and alert, but it also helps us to feel more stressed. So if we're constantly surrounded by these screens all day, it's increasing our stress and drinking. It puts us on this cortisol spike and drop, but we're just running on fumes and chugging a bunch of caffeine all day long. Our society really was. This is a whole long conversation. I know you don't have time for this, but our society was just set up for convenience. That really took us away from being attuned to ourselves and to nature and to God and to the way that our bodies were meant to function. So I'm not saying you have to sell your house and your tv and go get a farm and raise chickens. I'm not saying you have to do that. I'm saying that there are ways to kind of bring back those old habits and routines, like slowing down, getting out into nature, doing things more natural, ditching some of the convenience when we're able to. And, yeah, that's just something that. Making sure that we're staying hydrated, it's a big thing. We forget to drink water and, like, good quality water that has minerals and things like that. So, really, I think it does come down to a lot of just the simple things that we just forget to do. And we get so jazzed by these fancy holistic stuff that we forget about those things and that anybody has the time and money to take a simple, quick walk in the park.

[41:36] Caroline: Well, and Kayla, I'm so glad that you mentioned water. I've heard you say it on another podcast, actually, where you were just talking about water and the importance of hydration, and you do something to make your water good. But I don't understand, and I want to know, what is good water? How do I get good water? I have a Brita filter, but what's good water teach us good water and how we can get it.

[42:04] Cayla: Yeah. So our water system is not as good as I would like it to be in America if I'm making all the rules. It does filter out plenty of things like bacteria and stuff in our water processing plants and things, but it doesn't filter out a lot of heavy metals. Oftentimes, they do put things like chlorine and fluoride that can cause health issues for us, like in our thyroid and in other things. And one big thing that doesn't filter out is so, like, a lot of America is on pharmaceuticals for different things. And we, sorry to be gross, but we pee it out and it comes out into that water, and then it goes to the water processing plant and gets all filtered through with all the bacteria and the things. And then it comes back into our faucet with all these little teeny, tiny micro doses of, know, millions of people in America and all of the drugs. So I used to think tap water is perfectly fine, and I was drinking, or even like, bottled water has microplastics that can upset our hormones and things like that. So the water filter that I use, I don't want anybody to panic if they're listening to me, like, oh, my goodness, what am I drinking? It's okay. Our bodies are designed to handle a certain level of toxins, so I don't want anybody, like, to panic run to the store right now. The filter that I use, it's called clearly filtered, and it's a bit pricey, but to me it's worth the investment just because we just drink water on a daily basis. I think there's another one that is, you can get it at Walmart and it's like $30. I want to say it's called zero water. I forget. So I do the clearly filtered one, and it filters out like 99.99% of all the toxins and heavy metals and pharmaceuticals and things. And then I have these trace mineral drops that I will just add back in because a lot of the water just doesn't get all the minerals that we need, like the magnesium and boron and silicate and things like that. So I'll do some trace mineral drops. That's the brand that I use. I've also heard good things about Quinton minerals, and I'll just add a few drops to the water. That's like bonus level health. But if nothing else, just getting a good quality water system. There's other ones besides clearly filtered. You can even get it attached to your shower head or your kitchen sink and things like that. But, yeah, hopefully that answers your question.

[44:55] Caroline: It does. I'm glad you told me that. That was one of the main things I wanted to know from a lot of stuff. It's like telling me the water. So I have some closing questions for you. But before I get to the joy questions, I have heard you talk about Christopher Columbus and as an analogy to our health and how we're taking small steps and with our health, it's not just this linear route. There are going to be some really good days, some really good, really not so great days and moments within those days as well. And so can you talk to us about the course correction? But I was just hoping you could share your Christopher Columbus analogy on course correcting our lives. I thought it was.

[45:43] Cayla: Yeah. Like the way that I see people wanting to do health and putting so much pressure on it where either we feel like the health police are going to arrest us if we eat a cheeseburger one day, or we say, oh, I'm vegan, but, oh, I see you eating meat one day. It's like, who cares? If you want to have some turkey at Thanksgiving, do it. Who says you can't if you're a vegan? I mean, you don't have to if you don't want to. But I'm just saying, I feel like we get so strict, like, this is my food plan and I'm paleo and I can't eat that spice because it's not paleo. It's like, who cares, really? Like, at the end of the day. So, yeah, putting that kind of pressure on it is one thing, but then also the idea of like, oh, I'm starting my diet on Monday, and then, oh, I really wanted to eat that cheesecake on Wednesday. And then just going into this shame spiral of like, oh, no, what did I do? I lost my diet. And then just eating whatever you want until Sunday, and then, oh, the diet starts again on. Doesn't, to not, doesn't have to be a cycle where like, oh, I lost. So I have to go straight back to the, like, start over again. To me, I thought of it like Christopher Columbus. So he set out from Spain and he just kept sailing. And he has a navigator that, oh, we're going too far south. Christopher Columbus, we need to go a little bit back north. He wasn't like, oh, no, we went too far south. We need to sail all back to Spain and start all over again. It was just course correcting. Like, oh, I need to go. For me, I'll stress eat sometimes and I'll eat a little more junk food or a little more sugar, and sometimes it'll go for a couple of weeks, and then I'll just realize, oh, hey, I've been stress eating a little bit too much. Maybe I should just dial it down a little bit. And I don't have to go through the whole shame spiral of like, oh, I'm a terrible person and I have no willpower and I can't control it. I'm just like, oh, I just noticed this about myself. I'm just going to shift back into health and kind of addressing it. Like, okay, why am I stressed? What can I do to help relieve some of that stress? So I don't feel like I need to be stress eating so much? And do I need to be asking for more support from family members to watch my kids, or do I need to be getting more sleep? So kind of like, just addressing those things and course correcting instead of the shame spiral basically is what it came down to.

[48:08] Caroline: I love that. Thank you so much. I think that's such a great visual, too. Okay, Caleb, let's do our questions, but before, can you tell us where we can find you, what we can do with you? Well, you told us we can get in the workshops and we can work one to one, but tell us about you, what we can do with you, and where we can find you.

[48:28] Cayla: Yeah. So the workshops and the one to one sessions are kind of my two bigger primary offerings at the moment. My website is sozoholistic.com. That's S-O-Z-O holistic. That's a whole nother thing. What the word sozo means. Just ask me if you're curious. And I'm on Instagram at Sozo HHP.

[48:53] Caroline: Okay, are you ready for your joy questions?

[48:58] Cayla: Yeah.

[48:59] Caroline: What is your joy style? And what about that misfits you?

[49:02] Cayla: But I was a joyful soul, and I don't know how you created that quiz because it nailed me to a t. Everything on that description was, like, exactly me.

[49:15] Caroline: I created it by thinking and feeling and using observations from my life.

[49:20] Cayla: That's awesome. Yeah, it was very insightful and profound. And, yeah, it was definitely, like, my connection with God and with nature, clearly. I mean, the way that I've been talking probably speaks to that. Yeah. And I think there was something about reconnecting with God as kind of like a solution to me.

[49:41] Caroline: Yeah, I love that. I thought I might be a joyful soul, but I'm a joy writer. I knew I was probably one of those, too. What is your favorite simple luxury.

[49:54] Cayla: I love a good cup of tea.

[49:57] Caroline: Like tea. What does I like?

[50:00] Cayla: I do use herbal teas medicinally for different health issues. But when I just really need that comfort or stress, I have this. I think the brand is called Yoki, but it's a chai ruivos. So there's no caffeine, but it tastes like black tea. And it's got, like, the chai spices. And I just put a little bit of milk in there. And it's just like, at the end of the day, that's like my nightcap. I love it. A hard day and I'm just going to have a cup of tea.

[50:30] Caroline: Oh, how nice. Okay. What is a product, a ritual or something that we need to know about that brings you joy?

[50:38] Cayla: This isn't really one product, but I feel like talking about that reparenting and the inner child stuff. I've been learning how to just have fun the way that a child has fun. And it's great that I have kids that I can do that with, but enjoying playing with kid games and we'll do dance YouTube videos together and stuff like that. And it brings me joy just to dance like a little kid and go back to that. Oh, I love that.

[51:09] Caroline: Easy. That's an easy thing to do. Oh, that's great. Okay. What is one of your big obstacles to joy?

[51:17] Cayla: Myself.

[51:19] Caroline: The whole thing.

[51:22] Cayla: My tendency to victimize myself and pity myself and should on myself and I should be doing this or other people should be doing this for me, I think is a big. Yeah.

[51:39] Caroline: Thank you for sharing that. I think that a lot of us are like that, but I love that you shared that. Thanks very much for that. What do you love about being a woman?

[51:52] Cayla: I hope I don't offend or trigger anybody by saying this, but just like giving birth to my children, I know not every woman is able to do that or interested in doing that, but, yeah, I loved being able to feel my babies kicking inside me and having that connection to them and knowing that I built that kind of thing. Yeah. Just being a mom and having my babies is really beautiful.

[52:25] Caroline: Oh, wonderful. Okay, in three words, what is the meaning of life?

[52:32] Cayla: Oh, God loves me.

[52:38] Caroline: Oh, that's good.

[52:39] Cayla: I feel like I don't really. This is something I've been working on myself, but I don't fully embody the sense that I am loved by God. I know that God loves me consciously, but the feeling in my heart of being loved by God and knowing that I'm provided for by God and that God loves me is something that I have a hard time really internalizing in my heart.

[53:08] Caroline: Thank you for being so open with us. I love that. Okay. What prayer or blessing or wish would you like to give to the people who are listening to us?

[53:22] Cayla: I would say, like, for the mothers, but even if you're not a mother, you are a mother to something. Like you give life to something in your life. So to the mothers or to the life givers, I would pray that you find the space for self care and for joy and taking care of yourself so that you can take care of your family, your business, your community, whoever else, even if you don't have a family. Just the needs that you take care of, whatever that is for you, that you're able to take care of yourself first, meet your needs so that you are empowered and fueled and able to go out into the world and meet other people's needs second.

[54:24] Caroline: That's great, Kayla. This has been an interesting, wonderful rolling hills kind of talk. Rolling hills of Ireland.

[54:35] Cayla: Thank you so much. Thank you. I know that people have told me all the time that you're a little intense and very deep thinker. Me, too. Hopefully it wasn't a little too deep for some people. Oh, no.

[54:53] Caroline: I think it's perfect and takes all kinds. Everybody's different. And I think I love the things we talked about, and I appreciate you. And I really love how open you were with us. I think that you have said some things that a lot of people think but don't say. So thanks for saying it.

[55:19] Cayla: All right, well, I really appreciate being on your podcast. And thank you to everybody listening, too, for taking the time to listen. I appreciate it.

[55:27] Caroline: Oh, man. And guys, I'm putting links to Kayla in the show notes. Check them out so they're at the bottom. They're underneath usually where it says more. Tap on that, and that's where you can find all the goodies. All right, Kayla, thanks a ton. We appreciate you.

[55:46] Okay, gang, that's it for today. Thanks so much for listening. I hope you've been inspired, encouraged, and have had a great time. If you'd like to know more about working with me, having me as your own personal coach, check out my website, www.makeitjoy.com. You'll also find all of my resources, recommendations, and freebies on there as well. If this podcast is your kind of thing, I would so appreciate your support. Please leave me a five star review and help spread the word. If you'd like to say hello, I would love to hear from you. Send an email to caroline@makeitjoy.com. I will read it and I will get back to you. I love the make it joy community. Y'all are a really beautiful, lovely group of people, and I appreciate you all so much. Enjoy being you. Enjoy your life and go make it joy.

[56:33] Caroline: I'll see you next time.