Make It Joy- Empowering Women to Live Boldly, Authentically, & Passionately

Do you have high-functioning anxiety: when you appear hardworking, high-achieving, calm and successful on the outside, but on the inside you’re struggling with overthinking, overwhelm, difficulty saying no, difficulty relaxing, and more? Take the free quiz and find out. Plus you will get personalized recommendations and resources based on your results!

http://hfaquiz.com/

The book Tati is reading:

Set Boundaries, Find Peace by Nedra Glover Tawwab, https://amzn.to/3ucGIzk (This is an affiliate link. Thank you for using it!!)

Transcript:

Caroline Busick: Hey, you. Welcome to the show. I'm really glad you're here. We are doing our holiday series right now. We kicked it off last week, kind of unofficially, with an episode about just being unhappy and how common and normal that is. And there are lots and lots of reasons why being unhappy is something that everybody deals with. And there are ways that I go over, ways that you can manage that and ways that you can find joy in your life. And today we are talking about how to manage your holiday stress and holiday anxiety. I have a special guest on with me today. Her name is Tati Garcia and she is a. Well, here's a little blurb about her. I'll just tell you who she is. So Tati is a licensed professional counselor and coach specializing in the high functioning anxiety. And she's the host of the podcast calmly Coping, which is very good. Her passion lies in guiding ambitious achievers to overcome anxiety and burnout so they can feel calmer from within and stop overthinking everything. Tati has thousands of hours of experience helping clients and uses evidence based approaches, including mindfulness, self compassion and positive psychology to help high achievers make improvements in their mindset, self care and work life balance. So in this episode, I really just give her a hit list of the top stressors that we have during the holidays and ask her for tips and strategies to manage that stress, reduce it or prevent it. And this episode is full of info and tips and advice and I hope that you find it helpful. Refer to it as needed throughout the holidays. And as always, I'm here for you. If you need me, reach out to me. Caroline@makeitjoy.com. Okay, I hope you have a wonderful time with this one.

Caroline Busick: Hi, I'm Caroline busic and I'm a certified life and spiritual coach and I love to help women live life with more joy. My job is to completely and wholeheartedly believe the best in you and believe the best for you. I think that life is meant to be enjoyed and we're meant to live with passion, purpose and fun. In this podcast, we will talk about all things Joy, what brings you joy, what keeps you from joy, and how to just enjoy life more in general. You are uniquely and wonderfully made and you are who you are and how you are for a reason. My hope for you is that you will adore being you build a life you love, soak up as many moments as you can, and enjoy the heck out of life. Welcome to the Make It Joy podcast.

Caroline Busick: Hey Toddy, thanks for being with us today.

Tati Garcia: Hey, it's great to be here.

Caroline Busick: Well, somehow or another, I found my way to your email list and just, I really, really love the emails that you send. I think that they're so helpful and they're really practical.

Tati Garcia: Thank you so much. I really appreciate it.

Caroline Busick: Through your emails, I found your wonderful, super Helpful podcast, which you've been doing that for a little while, haven't you?

Tati Garcia: Yeah, it's been like three and a half years. I started in May of 2020.

Caroline Busick: I think that they're pretty bite sized. You can consume them on just like a one way trip to the grocery store or wherever you're going, and you're just filled with so many tips on how to manage your anxiety, which I think is just such an important topic that I think so many people are dealing with.

Tati Garcia: Definitely.

Caroline Busick: So one thing that I love so much about you and your style and your approach is that you actually believe that we can have freedom from anxiety and freedom from feeling overwhelmed and kind of overcome by our stressors, and that it doesn't have to be this permanent thing that we have in our life, this ongoing, perpetual anxiety. Isn't that right?

Tati Garcia: Yeah. And I think one thing that I like to point out is that we're never going to get rid of anxiety 100%, because anxiety can be helpful as a way of protecting ourselves and keeping us safe. But when it comes to the anxiety that is irrational or that is really overwhelming, like you mentioned, and gets in the way of your feeling, like, happy or you're just being able to go through your day to day, that is definitely something that you can decrease and work towards getting to a point where anxiety Isn't something that is a part of your everyday, I think that's really encouraging.

Caroline Busick: And I also love this idea that it's helpful, because it is helpful. I mean, back when we were being chased by tigers on a regular basis, I think you need. Your stress can be a warning for you. It's a way to keep you safe, or your body's at least trying to keep you safe.

Tati Garcia: Yeah, exactly.

Caroline Busick: A thing about you that I also really like is you have a three part approach, right, when you're dealing with anxiety and you teach other people about kind of these three keystones to managing anxiety. Can you talk to us about it?

Tati Garcia: Yeah, absolutely. This is particularly, I guess especially when it comes to ambitious people who are struggling with anxiety. And so people who have anxiety and also feeling overwhelmed or burnt out. So that first prong is calm and that's addressing your thoughts. The way that you manage your emotions, the way that you are thinking about things when it comes to, let's say, a lot of times there can be negative thoughts when it comes to anxiety or a lot of limiting beliefs that we hold that keep us stuck in a place of focusing on the worst case scenario and that calm prong also focuses on just becoming more aware of these things. So becoming more aware of your emotions and the way that you think about things and the way that you're feeling in general throughout the day. That second prong is balance. And so this is gaining an understanding of your behaviors and the way that you are managing your energy and time throughout the day. A lot of times with individuals who are in a place of feeling anxious, that leads them to maybe overwork or over commit because of a fear of failure or a fear of not doing so, have difficulties with setting boundaries and managing their time. And so really working on becoming more intentional with the way that you spend your time, with the things that you say yes to, even with the way that you organize your to do list or your tasks, can make a huge difference when it comes to the levels of anxiety you feel and how overwhelmed you feel. And then that last prong is confidence. And so this is getting to that place where you can start to feel good enough from within. Because a lot of times there can be this feeling that I'm not good enough or I need to do more or accomplish more in order to prove myself to others. And there can be a lot of those beliefs going on. And so, especially with somebody who is ambitious and has high expectations for themselves and can put a lot of pressure on themselves, that can also go hand in hand with being really hard on yourself and beating yourself up. And so when we beat ourselves up, studies show that that actually tends to make you feel worse, make you less resilient to stress and the difficulties that you're going to face in your day to day. And so this confident prong consists of practicing self compassion, actually being kinder to yourself, which you can do without dropping the ball, and also learning how to take care of yourself first.

Caroline Busick: It's a funny thing. We talk a lot about putting yourself first here on this podcast and through my website. It's something that I think we really struggle to do. I don't know if it's just something that we learn growing up or if you're a woman, it's a part of how we are just kind of the maternal, taking care of others, the nurturing side of us. But I find it very difficult, and so many women find it so difficult to put yourself first or to even care for yourself at all. It's as if we have to take care of everyone else and everything, and then when there's nothing left, then as a last measure, we have to go and take care of ourselves. I just find that very interesting and really common.

Tati Garcia: Yeah, absolutely. And as you're talking about that, I'm imagining my mother and grandmother seeing them whenever we would get together for family meals. They're always the ones sitting down last. Everybody's already started eating and they're still trying to serve or clean or whatever. And so I think seeing your mother or grandmother or whomever taking care of everybody else and then taking care of themselves last. And I think that can definitely be something that's passed down through the generations. And that just like culturally in our society has become an expectation that I think we're slowly starting to unlearn.

Caroline Busick: It's a funny thing of, I have a five year old called Madeline, and when I think of her, I often think, I hope she doesn't do what I've done with myself up to this point. I hope that she takes care of herself. I hope that she pursues her passions. I hope that she does this and this. And it is funny. I think that it's often what I want for my child is better than what I have given myself. And I hope maybe at the time we are in history, that'll begin to change. But, yeah, I totally agree with you about the, I identify with what you're saying about the women in the family. This is a huge generalization, but they cook the food and they put the food out and they clean up the food. And like you said, they are the very last to rest. It's just a bummer. It's like we have endless energy, but we don't. And so one thing this naturally walks us into, the main reason I want you here today. Number one is I wanted to talk to you because I think you're great and I love the stuff you're putting out. Number two is we're doing a couple of episodes on the holidays and how to manage stress during the holidays, how to enjoy yourself during the holidays, because this is such a, it's such a wonderful, magical time. And I feel like it's intended to be this quiet, peaceful time. But the holidays are usually just all out, 100 miles an hour, wear yourself out, cranky time of year. And so I'm hoping that you can take us through some strategies to make the most of the holidays and to find peace. So how does that sound to you?

Tati Garcia: Yes, that sounds excellent.

Caroline Busick: Okay, so here's what I'm thinking we'll do. I'm going to tell you a holiday stressor, kind of a typical holiday stressor. Tell us some ways that we can manage the stress, possibly prevent the stress, and we can refer back to your Wisdom when we start losing our peace for the holidays. Sound okay?

Tati Garcia: Yeah, that sounds great.

Caroline Busick: Okay. So stressor number one for the holidays, I think is just having so much to do. We put so much on our plate. And I think that the holidays around our house are mid October until for us, all the way through mid February, because we have birthdays and then Halloween and then Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year's, and then we have birthday. We have just a chain of birthdays. That's a ton of stuff to do. And so what are some things that we can do to manage the stress of having so much to do during the holidays?

Tati Garcia: Yeah, I think that's a good question. I think one thing can be to ensure that you are taking time for yourself when possible, just taking time to rest, also managing and recognizing the expectations that you have for yourself. Sometimes there can be this expectation that everything needs to be perfect, and either that or you need to do it all. And seeing if that is realistic and even if obviously you still want to do the best that you can, but also while being kind to yourself. So seeing if you can recognize that you're going to do the best you can, and it's not necessary to put all of this pressure on yourself. The way I like to describe it to my clients, a lot of time is that there is the amount of effort that's necessary to get something done. But then oftentimes we can go beyond that and put this excess pressure and stress upon ourselves that isn't helping us to get things done any better. It's often just making us feel worse and making us feel more overwhelmed. And so seeing if you can just start to notice when you're being hard on yourself, when you're maybe overthinking or making plans for the future, or thinking that everything needs to be perfect, and seeing if you can be kind to yourself and say that I'm going to do the best that I can and focus on taking time for rest and doing the things that I enjoy amidst that.

Caroline Busick: Just as you were talking, I was considering this idea, this novel idea of asking for help. Sometimes when our list is so long, it almost doesn't occur to me to ask for help from other people. And sometimes, like the other day, I think I was just slammed with a ton of things to do. I had a lot of work things to do. I had a couple of doctors appointments and then planning a birthday party, and I was beginning to feel really overwhelmed by it. And I thought, number one, what are some things that I could actually take off of this list? What needs to like, what's a non essential? And is there anything that I can kind of outsource? Is there anything that I can get my husband, Matthew, to help me with? And I found that also really helpful, along with everything you just said, just to see if I can lighten my load somehow, whether it's by eliminating something or getting an assist. I don't know about you, Tati, but I find that if I ask for help, people usually are really willing to do it.

Tati Garcia: Yeah, definitely. And it's interesting because I'm actually reading a book now on boundaries. And so this kind of is relevant to what I'm reading about that oftentimes when it comes to boundaries and a boundary can include asking for help and delegating. Oftentimes we can assume that other people know that we need help, especially when it comes to a partner or family member. We can assume, oh, they see that I'm doing all of this. They should know that I need help. But really, people aren't going to know that you need help unless you communicate it to them. And so sometimes we can kind of see then this, like, oh, I'm doing it all, and this kind of martyrdom of like, I need to do everything when really that's not the case. And like you said, oftentimes when we are clear and communicate, can you help me out with this, or can we divide things in this way? Most people are going to be understanding and willing to help.

Caroline Busick: Can you share what book you're reading?

Tati Garcia: Yeah. It's called set Boundaries. Find peace by. I'm going to mispronounce her name. Nedra Glover Tawab, I believe.

Caroline Busick: Okay, that sounds great. I'll add that to the show notes, Guys. Okay, so another holiday stressor. It can feel like it's performance time. Like, my house needs to look really good. This meal has to be really good. The Christmas cards I send out need to look really good. And we can put this pressure on ourselves or feel this kind of invisible pressure or expectation from other people to keep up or to make our holidays be boxed in this little nice, pretty package, or this really acceptable, pretty presentable way. And so could you give us a strategy for feeling like we have to perform to meet either our own or other people's possibly imaginary expectations.

Tati Garcia: Yeah. And I think you hit the nail on the head there that a lot of times it can be imaginary. It can be just these stories that we create in our head, that we expect that we need to do things perfectly, that we need to appear a certain way or else. And if that's the case for you, I encourage you to think of that. Or else. What is the worst that could happen if you don't meet these so called expectations that you have set for yourself? What is the worst that could happen if things aren't perfect, or if your house isn't perfectly clean, or you don't have the perfect Christmas cards or whatever else it might be? Because oftentimes we are imagining this devastating consequence and people are going to judge us or think that there's something wrong with us or whatever those imagined worries might be. And oftentimes what we imagine is much worse than the reality. And even if there are people that are going to be judgmental, that's not something that we have control over. And sometimes we try to avoid or control inadvertently the way that other people are going to perceive us by trying to do the best that we can. But really, it's trying to control something that's uncontrollable because we can never control what somebody else thinks about us or the things that they say about us. So it can feel like this trap that we're trying to avoid negative judgment or criticism, but we're really just making ourselves more stressed and overwhelmed in the moment.

Caroline Busick: There's so much wisdom in that. And that is also something that's certainly not just for the holidays. I mean, that's really a lifelong endeavor. I think it's just knowing who you are and valuing who you are. And you've talked a lot about being kind to yourself and having self acceptance. And I imagine that that is a. I know for me, it's certainly a long term bit of work.

Tati Garcia: Absolutely. Yeah. But I think you put it well, that self acceptance and accepting of yourself, being confident in yourself, and that in and of itself can help you to feel more resilient to the things that other people might say and recognize that if people are making judgments about you, or if they're saying things like, oh, this isn't perfect, which most people aren't going to say, but even if they are oftentimes that the people that are making those judgments themselves, it's because they are suffering or struggling themselves in some way, or they lack confidence in themselves. And they're oftentimes just projecting that onto others.

Caroline Busick: Okay. Johnny, I think we will probably get into your boundaries book a little bit on this one. But what is a strategy you have for being with difficult people during the holidays?

Tati Garcia: Yeah, so I think know if it's somebody that you have to like, whether it's in a group of people or otherwise, I think it's going to depending on the relationship. But if it's somebody that you find that even if you talk to them, it ends up in conflict, or it's something that is personally triggering for you before you go to the event, kind of setting that boundary for yourself. So maybe it's going to be trying to not just say hi to the person and not engage in any conversation. If it's a person who continues to violate boundaries and you feel like they are maybe getting into conflict with you or whatever else it might be, then it could be something that you have to communicate to them. Again, kind of going back to that communication piece. And if this person crosses this boundary, then I'm going to either leave this situation or walk away and talk to somebody else or go to another room and take some deep breaths. So having maybe an idea of a plan of action of how you could address it if you feel triggered in some way.

Caroline Busick: I think this is a really funny phrase, but energy vampires is a phrase that was introduced to me several years ago. And it's when you're just around somebody and they just drain you of your joy and your energy. And that could also just be because you and someone are just different in a way that doesn't. There's just something about the energy together where you just feel tired being with that person. I think that finding a way to restore yourself energetically where you just don't feel wiped out after you've been with someone, is really important as well. Can you give us any advice on after you have just felt like, I am wiped out after just being in the same room with this person and I need to fill myself back up again. Do you have any suggestions for how you can kind of bring that energy back to yourself?

Tati Garcia: Yeah, no, I think that's a good one because that definitely can happen. And maybe it's not somebody that is difficult, but it's just like you said, they are draining for you to talk to. And so it could be maybe going and talking to somebody who is energizing for you, like somebody that you feel comfortable with or close to that isn't somebody that's going to suck that energy out of you or require a lot of thought or effort to interact with them. It could be maybe taking some time for yourself for a little bit, going to the bathroom or even going outside and getting some fresh air or anything that's going to be grounding for you, whether that's taking a few deep breaths or doing a meditation or something, if you have time or space to do that, and if this is at the end of the event or something, just seeing and asking yourself, what is it that you need? Because we're each going to need something different. For some people, it's going to be, I need to be by myself and I just need to wind down and disconnect. For other people, it's going to be, I need to do something active or something that's going to allow me to move my body or spending time with somebody that, like I said earlier, that you're comfortable with.

Caroline Busick: Those are such good practical tips. Thank you so much for those. So when you're going to a party that you're looking forward to, but I think social anxiety and just feeling nerves about going to all of these holiday gatherings, whether it's a work party or going with your partner, maybe to their group of work friends, or you're going to a group of your church friends or. I think social anxiety around parties and gatherings is a lot more common than people realize. And so can you give us a couple of tips on how to just manage the nerves before you walk into a party and maybe how to manage yourself during the party so that you have something that can kind of ground you so you can enjoy yourself?

Tati Garcia: Yeah. So that social anxiety is definitely something that I can relate to, something that I used to struggle with a lot. And especially when it comes to a group or party setting, one thing that can help is going with somebody that you're comfortable with or somebody that you know, doing things like practicing positive affirmations or positive coping statements before the event. Because a lot of times there can be those negative thoughts that are fueling the anxiety that you feel, that are fueling those worries. And it could be beliefs like, everybody's going to think I'm awkward or I'm not good at making small talk. With social anxiety, we're so focused on what other people are going to think and how we are coming across that that takes the attention away from actually communicating and makes it harder to communicate. And so if you can do things like change your thoughts before going in or physically, I've mentioned taking deep breaths a few times, but that can be really powerful because that's actually, especially if you're taking those deep breaths all the way into your belly. That's activating your body's relaxation response, which is going to help to calm your mind and body. Then that can help you to go into the situation with a less anxious state of mind. And then reminding yourself to just focus on the present moment, focus on what you see around you and not necessarily hyper fixating on how are people perceiving me.

Caroline Busick: One thing that seems to keep coming up with everything you're saying, and I've found this to be true with myself, is when your mind is passive, that's when you're more at risk for kind of losing it and falling subject to any and every thought that pops up. But everything you're saying, or almost everything you're saying is encouraging this active mind where you're challenging your thoughts, you're noticing what you're experiencing, you're seeing if there are alternatives, you're finding out if there are other ways to approach something or other ways of thinking. And so I'm just hearing so much about having an active mind, not a passive mind, but actually, and it does take muscle. I mean, it takes practice to get your mind working in this way. But all of these skills, or most of these skills at least, are using your mind in a way that, as though it were a muscle, which it is, is going to benefit you. So almost being in charge of your brain and directing it in a way where it's helpful for you.

Tati Garcia: Yeah, exactly. And I like how you put that, of using it actively. Because if we go into that passive state, that default way of thinking, as humans, we have what's called a negativity bias. And so the tendency will be to go towards the negative way of thinking and viewing things. Because, again, like I mentioned before, that can be protective. If we're more sensitive to the bear that's coming through the woods, that's going to help us to survive more so than noticing the nice sunrise. And so it is something that we have to actively work to overcome, especially if you're somebody who's prone to anxiety or somebody who's prone to depression, or just somebody who tends to be more of a pessimistic or have a pessimistic way of thinking. But it's absolutely something, like you said, that you can change and you can actually rewire your brain so that it becomes easier to think more positively over time.

Caroline Busick: Okay, Todd, now I may be getting a little outside of your realm of comfort here, but I wanted to bring up food anxiety, which I think is certainly something that comes up around the holidays, because there's so much excess. There's so much yummy, delicious food. And I think people, I've certainly experienced this where you can feel bad about the food that you're eating because there's so much stuff, or you can have anxious about going to this party and you think, oh, there's going to be so much food, but I don't want to feel bad about how I've eaten. Or can you speak to us at all about whether it's mindfulness or self compassion or whatever? Can you give us any tips on just food anxiety during the holidays?

Tati Garcia: Yeah. And I think, like you said, that can be something that's common. And I think that it can help to look at what, for you specifically is bringing up that anxiety. Is it a worry of am I going to overindulge or overeat? Or is this going to negatively impact my health? Or if you're on, whether it's a diet or like a health program or something, is this going to sabotage this? And so I think that it can help to look at what are those specific worries and name them and then use that to help you to make a plan for the situation. And so that can look like just acceptance. If you decide I'm going to allow myself to enjoy myself without the guilt or without the worry, then that practice of acceptance can be really powerful because sometimes there can be this feeling of you eat something and then you automatically feel guilty or you worry if you've overindulged. And really all of those reactions can be, there's nothing wrong with having those emotions come up. And at the same time, it can be coming from a place of regret or shooting on yourself, I should have done this differently, or I shouldn't have done that. And so when we can Come back to this mindset of acceptance of, okay, I've made the decision that I'm going to allow myself to enjoy this, then you are making a conscious choice.

Caroline Busick: To.

Tati Garcia: Do what it is that you've decided to do without beating yourself up, without thinking, I should be doing something different. So that's kind of like a mindset shift that I think can help with that. In addition to you don't have to depending on what it is for you, because every person is going to be different. But coming up with a plan of, okay, what is it that I feel comfortable with? Or how much do I feel comfortable with eating when it comes to this specific holiday?

Caroline Busick: That's so helpful. Thank you so much. And I think that's going to help a lot of people in my family. What we have always done is after our meal, we say, oh, I ate so much, I'm never eating again. That is our big cope, our way of coping. But something I have really appreciated about you, and this may have been in a podcast, you may have even had a whole episode on it, I'm not sure. But you talk about balance and how instead of having this balance throughout your day, where everything is kind of equal and measured, it's more about having these times where you go all in and then these times where you pull back and you rest and you restore and you recover. And I was thinking about the holidays and how there could be, like we said, the holidays. It's pretty full on for most of the time, and this isn't everybody, but a lot of us are just going, going. And I was wondering if you could talk to us about moments where we can drop in and where we can find the balance, where we go all in and then we pull back and we restore ourselves.

Tati Garcia: Yeah, I love that you brought up that concept, because that's something that is definitely an important value of mine, because I think balance is essential in all aspects of life. Like, if we just think about the basics of our human body, our body is automatically maintaining a balance of our body temperature, of our body functions, and keeping us so that we are functioning in a healthy way. And so it can be that similar concept, especially with women, our body goes through these phases. If you're somebody who has your cycle currently, that there's phases where you have more energy, where you're going to push yourself more, and then there's phases where you're going to want to pull back and rest. And so that can be an important overarching thing to be aware of, just listening to your body and what it's telling you to do. And then also within the holidays, it can be either allowing yourself, depending on the way that you are, because we're all different. So if you're the kind of person who you like to go all in, then giving yourself that time and space to do so, while also having that time for recovery afterwards. So maybe that's after a holiday, like after Halloween or after Thanksgiving, and allowing yourself maybe like a day off or a weekend off or a week where you're taking it easy before you start to think about planning for the next holiday.

Caroline Busick: That's really great. I like having this idea of just balance almost being this movement. It's like you said, the cycles, this rhythm where we can just find the moments where there's opportunity to rest and recover and observe and just respect the moments where it's almost like things are out of our control or out of our hands. And you just have to have the later nights or you have to have the faster pace and just keeping your eyes open for times and even just moments that suit you, where you can have, like, a comedown, I think that's really important, and I love your perspective. On balance, I think it's a little atypical, and I think it's so true and so wise and just really, really think it's a powerful thought. Okay, Tati, do you think that we have covered the holidays? Do you think that we've got our basis covered?

Tati Garcia: One other thing that comes to mind for me, because I know this is something that people can struggle with over the holidays, is, especially if you've lost a loved one, it can bring up a lot of difficult emotions. The holidays can be a tough time for you. It can bring up memories or reminders of the past. And so I think that's important to acknowledge for people who are in that space that absolutely, whether it is holidays or anniversaries or birthdays, can definitely bring up those memories and reminders of the past. And that's important to just, again, have that self compassion for yourself if you're in that place and don't push yourself to do something that feels like it's too much for you, allow yourself space to work through the emotions that are coming up for you. So feeling them, whatever that looks like, if it's allowing yourself to cry or allowing yourself to speak to loved ones who might understand and let those feelings out. But I think that's something else that came to mind that I think can be a topic that comes up during the holidays.

Caroline Busick: I'm so glad you said that. That's such a good one. And sometimes there can be a reason that you know why you have the blues or why you're down during the holidays. And sometimes you can't put your finger on it and you're just down and you don't know why. And I love everything you said about it. And I think that's applicable for those moments, too, when you just think, I'm down and I don't know why. Just being kind to yourself, talking to people. I'm so, so glad you brought that up. Thank goodness for you. All right, you got to tell us how we can work with you. Tell us about your website. And I know you have an awesome quiz. Fill us in.

Tati Garcia: Yeah. So my website is becomwithati.com. I offer coaching. I have online courses and a high function anxiety community. In addition to, I offer therapy for residents of the state of New Jersey. And then if you're curious about what high functioning anxiety is, I kind of touched on it a little, but it's really particularly those high achieving, ambitious individuals who are successful and appear to be doing well on the outside. But on the inside you're struggling with anxiety, overthinking and burnout. I have a free quiz to let you know if you're struggling with high function anxiety and then if so, resources to help you to work through it. And you can find that@hfaquiz.com.

Caroline Busick: And Tati, do you work with men also or do you work with women?

Tati Garcia: Yes, I work with both men and women.

Caroline Busick: OK, that's great. All right. Are you ready for our wrap up questions?

Tati Garcia: Yes.

Caroline Busick: Okay, here we go. So, Toddy, around here, I like to end my guest episodes with some questions about just how you can celebrate life and enjoy your life more. And we talk about some of the things that bring joy. So I know that you have taken the what's your joy style? Quiz that I have, and can you tell us what you are and what you resonated with?

Tati Garcia: Yes. So it is peace and joy. So I am an independent joy. Yeah. So I think that resonated with me. Taking time for myself, like the simple pleasures, things like that.

Caroline Busick: That's perfect. I can see that in you. That's great. Okay, what is your favorite simple luxury?

Tati Garcia: So I enjoy, just like, my daily warm cup of tea recently, with the weather getting warmer. Not warmer, cooler. I like to have my chai tea with some almond milk. And that's something I look forward to in the morning.

Caroline Busick: Okay. What is one of your big obstacles to Joy?

Tati Garcia: I think for me, I think it's being hard on myself. I think that I talked a lot about that self compassion, but sometimes I still fall into that trap of focusing a lot on, oh, I could be doing better or I could be doing this rather than celebrating everything that I've accomplished and am doing well.

Caroline Busick: I think you have a lot of company with that. Okay. What do you love about being a woman?

Tati Garcia: Yeah, this is a good question. I think that I love the connection, like the emotional connection that I can make with other women. Obviously, there's this shared experience and sometimes this shared understanding that helps you to feel more connected and less alone.

Caroline Busick: That's really beautiful and so true. All right, in three words, what's the meaning of life?

Tati Garcia: This is a tough one, I would say, and I don't know if this is the meaning, but just like, what I think of when it comes to know being fully.

Caroline Busick: Oh, yeah, I love a. I have.

Tati Garcia: A tattoo on me that's only this moment is, um, it's a quote by Nat Han, who was a Buddhist monk. But it. I'm very into mindfulness and just that present moment awareness because especially with anxiety, a lot of times, it's very future focused thinking and trying to anticipate and plan for what could happen or what could go wrong. And that oftentimes just takes us away from fully living in and appreciating the moment.

Caroline Busick: I found that no matter what religion you are, there's so much wisdom in the Buddhist way. I mean, the mindfulness and everything you just said, just being awake and alive to the moment, it really can enrich your life. Okay, so what prayer or blessing or wish would you like to give to the people that are listening to us?

Tati Garcia: Yeah, I would say kind of like, as an overarching of what I've been saying, to be kind to yourself and you're doing better than you think you are, and you deserve to take care of yourself and to be compassionate and understanding towards yourself.

Caroline Busick: That's wonderful, Tati. Thank you so much for coming on and just brightening up our holidays and getting us prepared to have a peaceful, joyful next few months.

Tati Garcia: Yeah. Thank you so much for having me, Caroline. I had a great time.

Caroline Busick: Okay, gang, that's it for today. Thanks so much for listening.

Caroline Busick: I hope you've been inspired, encouraged, and.

Caroline Busick: Have had a great time.

Caroline Busick: If you'd like to know more about working with me, having me as your own personal coach, check out my website, www.makeitjoy.com. You'll also find all of my resources, recommendations, and freebies on there as well. If this podcast is your kind of thing, I would so appreciate your support. Please leave me a five star review and help spread the word. If you'd like to say hello, I would love to hear from you. Send an email to Caroline@makeitjoy.com. I will read it and I will get back to you. I love the make it joy community. Y'all are a really beautiful, lovely group of people and I appreciate you all so much. Enjoy being you. Enjoy your life and go make it joy.

Caroline Busick: I'll see you next time.